Unbreakable Success Podcast, Episode 57
Aaron Keith Hawkins | How to Feel More Appreciated.
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Full Transcript:
Aaron: 00:00 Hey, it's Aaron Keith Hawkins and welcome back to another episode of Unbreakable Success. Thank you for being here today. We're going to cut to the chase. I want to answer a a very what I know for many people can be a very powerful question, very serious question, which is how can we actually feel more appreciated. We're all, obviously we're all worthy of being appreciated. We're all working hard. We're all taking care of our kids. We're all trying to be loving in our relationships. There's so many things that we're doing. Working on our mindset. If you're listening or watching this show, you are trying to do the right things. You're making progress. But what do we do when we just don't feel appreciated enough from the people in our lives, the people that we interact with, a work group, sometimes the people we live with? The truth is this.
Aaron: 00:49 You know, I, I know the, that for many people in my experience, coaching and mentoring and working with a lot of people over the years. I get and I understand that the initial instinct is to try to figure out how can we make someone appreciate us more and the very harsh like rip the bandaid off answer is you can't. We can't make someone appreciate us. I can't make you appreciate me and you can't make me appreciate you, but the good news is that there are things and we're going to talk about three specific things today. There are things that we can do that are far more likely to influence others to appreciate us and for far more likely for us to just feel more appreciated. Number one is you have to protect your schedule and I said, protect your schedule, not fill it because what normally happens for people if they do pay attention to their calendar and the things they have to do, most of the time we wind up filling up that schedule, filling up our calendar, which is things to do.
Aaron: 01:58 Some of those things are extremely important. Some of those things, not so much, but when I say protect your schedule, here's what I mean, and this is very simple. What are the five most? One of the five things in your life that you value the most, if you were to write them down, what are the top five things that are that are most important, most valuable to you, and everybody's going to have slightly different answers for someone immediately be their children or their spouse or their partner or their career, their business, their fitness, their health, their personal growth, spiritual growth. Whatever those answers are for you. Write them down and once you have that list and if you're a, it's okay if you don't have a pen or pad right now, just just think of them and then ask yourself honestly, are each of those things scheduled into your calendar every week? Are they in your calendar or they booked whenever your answers were? Did you block out unconditional time to engage in those things that are most valuable to you?
Aaron: 03:12 And most of the time when I asked this of people one on one, they'll have that list and they'll say, well, you know, I do spend time, you know, addressing this thing or that thing or with my kids and I have some time here there. But the question is, do you have blocked out unconditional, nonnegotiable time for those things? And if the answer is no, then that's something that you can fix. But here's because here's what I can promise you. When someone is not intentionally making time, scheduling time for the things that are most valuable to them. If someone doesn't appreciate themselves enough to actually make sure that they are unconditionally engaging in things that are most important to them, then how can I expect someone else to appreciate them if I don't make time for the things? If I want to appreciate myself enough to make sure that I'm taking care of the things that I valued the most fun and appreciate myself enough to do that. How can I expect anybody else to show me any appreciation? I don't even care enough for myself and people will recognize that constantly or not. It's the truth. So make sure you're protecting your schedule. Make sure whatever's most valuable to you, you have it in your schedule every single week. Non Negotiable daily. If you can.
Aaron: 04:35 Number two, you gotta protect your social circle. And I always love having conversations with people about their, who they're spending their time with and who's there, who their friends are, who their, what their social circle looks like because it always brings up that conversation of, you know, should we, should we spend times we spend our time with people just because we grew up with them or because their family or because they're there. They've been in our lives for so long. And I've heard, you know, I've heard coaches and speakers and gurus talk about how you got to cut out. There's people in your life that are toxic and have heard other people that say, well, not so much. Here's my take. I truly do believe that, you know, we ultimately wind up mirroring the people that we spend the most time with. Um, but I, but I will tell you this, just like we need to protect our schedule by making sure we have our values in there.
Aaron: 05:29 We need to protect our social circle by making sure that we are intentionally engaging in spending time with people that are aligned with our own personal aspirations. Not that they have to be the same aspirations, but they're aligned. We need to be around people who are growing intentionally learning intentionally who show the same character that you want to show, and if the people that you spending or spending time with are not doing that, then you need to do some shuffling and another. There are some people listening that they just, they don't know. They are not associated with people who have the goals that they have and that can be extremely difficult. So my answer, if you're one of those people, is find virtual connections. Read the books or watch the videos. Have attend seminars, have attended webinars, have engaged with people that can become your virtual mentors, virtual friends that are that you can collaborate mentally with and you can engage with them socially.
Aaron: 06:36 Almost anybody you follow has some kind of way that you can get in touch with them. I mean, Heck, I offer free coaching sessions that people you can engage with me if you need someone to help you and collaborate with to help you develop whatever your aspirations are. So make sure you're protecting your social circle. Watch how much time you're investing with people and really be honest about who they are because we don't have to spend a ton of time with people because we went to high school with them or because we're working with them. We get to pick and choose who we're going to invest, uh, in our who are going to invest our, our social life with so and that stuff. That's something that I think you need for most people if they're not feeling appreciated. That is usually one of the key problems is, is that they're wanting of spending time with people that they know.
Aaron: 07:27 It's just really not a healthy, fruitful relationship and that's okay. You got to be willing to, to create some space with people if they're not going the same place as you are. It doesn't mean you don't love them, doesn't mean they don't love you or that you don't care about each other. It just means you're on different journeys and it's okay to be on a different journey than someone else because your past can always cross again at a later time. It doesn't mean that you care about them less. It, if anything, it means you care about you and you've got to take care of you. You've got to make sure that you are a priority when it comes to your social life because just like I said, with the schedule, if you don't appreciate yourself enough to protect your social environment than how can you expect anyone else to appreciate you.
Aaron: 08:16 And finally, number three, the last thing and probably the most important thing. If you want to feel more appreciated, you need to show more appreciation. The other people, people will appreciate those that appreciate them, so whatever opportunities you have and when you think about the people and your family and your friends, the people in your life, people you're around, people that you may not even know. Maybe it's somebody, a virtual mentor or book you read or, or somebody who has helped you in some way, shape or form, whether you physically met them or not. Take the time to show some love, so show some appreciation and on a regular basis, on a daily basis, make it your lifestyle. Make it your default to let the people in your life know how important they are to you and when you become the person that that makes others feel better about themselves, then you will also become the person whom others show appreciation to and that answer today's question, how to become more appreciated, or how to feel more appreciated.
Aaron: 09:17 Number one, make sure to protect your schedule. Number two, make sure you're protecting your social circle. Number three, make sure you are absolutely a person who, by your own self identity, you're someone who regularly shows appreciation and I guarantee you it'll go a long way in helping you out. I'm Aaron Keith Hawkins. Thanks so much for spending a few minutes again with me today. I always enjoy, appreciate and appreciate talking with you. Until next time, make sure you're taking care of yourself. Make sure you take care of each other and keep on creating the best life of your life. I will talk to you next time, my friend. Thanks again. Bye for now.