“Well, that's just what I believe…”

Have you ever heard this gem of a statement and cringed? Have you ever said it?!

Yup. I have.

Unfortunately, it's often synonymous with “I don't like considering the fact that I may be wrong.”

Refusing to challenge our beliefs can be a BIG problem considering our beliefs are what drive our decisions, and subsequently, our actions.

Some of you may already be thinking, — “I will never compromise my beliefs!”

While I understand why you might initially might think this  …you're wrong (sorry!).

No offense intended.

Seriously though, think about how often we change our beliefs all the time!  Best business practices, what to wear, what's the best wine. Honestly, are any of you dressing the same way you did in the 1970's? I doubt it, but please send pics if you are!

Most of us update our beliefs all the time. Unfortunately, we don't often update the ones that matter.

Our beliefs in life should be based on the best information available to us at any given time. Since we constantly gain new information, it's only logical that our beliefs should be constantly evolving.

This creates the need to intentionally do a mental check-in once in a while, just to make sure what we are choosing to believe and act upon is serving us, not hindering us.

Here is a 5 step checklist to use that can help us maintain beliefs that are useful.

Step #1 – Are your beliefs congruent with your values?

When our personal or professional lives feel unsatisfying or unfulfilled, its often due to a conflict between our beliefs and values. What's worse is that many people don't even realize that there IS a difference between the two. But there certainly is.

For example…

Belief: You're a manager in your workplace, so you need to closely oversee and direct (read: micromanage) your employees.

Conflicting Value: You value a work environment where employees are independent and creative.

or

Belief: The only way to prevent your significant other from cheating on you is to vigilantly remain suspicious of their actions.

Conflicting Value: You value a relationship built on trust.

You can see where I'm going with this. These conflicts can exist in so many areas of your life. If we don't maintain congruence between our beliefs and what we truly value, we are going to feel, well, out of sorts.

Living by our values is what gives us that inner peace we crave. At the risk of being overtly cheesy, it's what makes us feel like were being true to ourselves.

Check in on your beliefs, make sure they're aligned with your values, and get your life back in sync.

Step #2 – Are your beliefs out of date?

Make sure you're keeping up on the timeliness of your beliefs. As Stephen Hawking said, “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.”

Failing to do so can have serious ramifications in our business and personal lives.

Consider Blockbuster Video's demise due to its failure to embrace new information,

Or, that friend you have who's still trying to impress girls with slow-jam mix tapes. So sad!

The point is, we are well served by making sure our beliefs are keeping up with the times.

Step #3 – Are your beliefs based on unhealthy generalizations?

This is one of those subjects that exposes the fact that life and business are often an art as opposed to a science.

The point here is that we need to be very honest about some negative generalizations we make, and whether or not they are making our lives better or worse.

Unhealthy generalizations often stem from unpleasant personal experiences These experiences are soon followed by our subconscious attempting to protect us against a repeat of the same discomfort.

You've were cheated on in a relationship(s) you so you generalize that all men/women are cheaters.

You had a workplace friend who got a promotion and suddenly became an arrogant prick. You then decide you never want advance in your workplace because you don't want to become an a-hole.

The sad thing is, we know that these generalizations are not factually true, but we're so afraid of being disappointed, hurt, or let down that we live by these unhealthy myths.

This type of thinking can stifle our ability to connect, grow, and live a free and fulfilled life. You deserve a life driven by your goals, desires and passions. Don't get trapped by other people's shortcomings.

We hear it all the time — Your past, and the past of others, does not equal your future.

 Step #4 – Are your beliefs damaging your relationships?

We've all been there haven't we?

I need to have the last word in this argument.

They need to respect my authority.

I'm not important enough.

But are there better beliefs we can foster that will help craft stronger relationships?

Consider these alternatives…

I have the opportunity to bring this to a positive resolution.

I hold a lot of responsibilities; one of the biggest is showing my team that I respect them.

What can I do to bring exceptional value to this relationship / workplace?

Doesn't it just feel different reading these 2 differing sets of perspectives?

Be objective. Be selflessly-selfish! Incorporate patterns of belief that will benefit you and your relationships.

You deserve it.

Step #5 – Do your beliefs start with “I can't”?

This is one of the most needlessly damaging ways to start any sentence, but it's also one that can be easily resolved if you decide to just get rid of those two pesky words — “I can't.”

How?

Just replace “I can't…” with “I must learn to…”

This small shift in thinking immediately introduces you to the realization that it's not your ability that stops you from accomplishing a goal, it's simply your willingness to learn something new and to make the journey. Once your decision is made to be willing to learn, to be resourceful, to make the journey toward achievement, your success is inevitable.

I hope these steps serve you and help you take a fresh look at the beliefs that are driving your actions in life. Your world needs the best of you!

Always be learning, always be improving, always challenge yourself and your thinking. Cut and paste these steps. Print them out, wallpaper your phone, keep them somewhere you'll see them. Enjoy the change!

1. Are your beliefs congruent with your values?

2. Are your beliefs out of date?

3. Are your beliefs based on unhealthy generalizations?

4. Are your beliefs damaging your relationships?

5. Do your beliefs start with “I can't”?

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to your life. You only get one.

We'll chat soon — Until then, as always, I'll be cheering you on.