Summary:
Have you ever felt like your life was just… stuck? Most of us have been there at one time or another right?
In this video we'll walk through 3 simple steps that will help us get “unstuck” during those times where life feels like its at a standstill.
As always, you get some raw and unscripted advice. Learn how to transform your life from a state of stagnation, to a life that's moving toward something compelling.
I should also mention that whether or not you’re currently feeling stuck — this is just some great “life advice”. Most of us have either experienced this feeling or know someone who has. Please pay it forward to someone whom this may help.
Enjoy and share! 🙂
Full Transcript Here:
How do we get our lives unstuck? I actually love this question because, not because of the problem that implies I love it because the question is so universal. I mean no matter who you are, where you are, what your finances look like, what your relationships look like — at any given point under the right circumstances, any of us can feel stuck as if there are certain things going on. So we're going to solve this problem today, we are going to do it with three steps.
The first thing I want to ask you to do is to imagine in your mind, imagine a car, not just any car, but the most beautiful car you have ever seen. Imagine it parked right out in front of your house, key in the ignition, gas tank full and you walking out to it. Imagine somebody stopping you right before you get there and they say, “hey! wait a minute, you can’t drive that car, its stuck obviously”, and you look at then and say “what are you talking about, it’s not stuck, it’s just parked.” It's such a powerful analogy because that’s how we are, we are that beautiful flawless vehicle that can go anywhere and do anything. We have the resources where we realize it or not, we can drive ourselves, but sometimes we just get parked because we are not driving and we haven’t chosen a destination.
So the first step in fixing that problem of feeling stuck is to realize, simply realize you're not stuck. Because something is not moving doesn’t mean its immoveable, those things are separate. Just because you are not moving forward in your life and you don't feel like making progress, it doesn’t mean you are actually stuck. You just have the sensation of being stuck not because of something but because of a lack of something. There's a void, there is an inaction going on. So that’s step number one, is recognize you are not stuck.
The next thing we need to do is to choose a destination. A lot of people have heard the saying that we need to have a vision, a grand vision for our lives, and we do, but, sometimes I hesitate to say that to people that they need to have a vision for their life because it can feel overwhelming. Because if you are 16 years old or you are 30 years old or you are 55 years old, telling you that you need a vision for your life implies that it has to be the same vision for your entire life and I think that’s a little bit unfair because depending on where you are in your life, telling you that you need a vision for your life can be overwhelming. Because if you're in college, you may have a goal or vision of making the NFL as a football player or dancing in ballet, but if you are 58 years old, you are not going to have that vision. So, it’s not fair to tell somebody who is 18 that they need to have a vision that’s going to encompass their whole life. because it may not, and that’s ok.
The point is you have to have a vision for this period of your life. Wherever you are, at whatever age you are, you need to have something that you are working towards now, for the foreseeable future. Once you have that, now you have a destination, now you can move, now you know where you're going, you can drive. You can’t drive yourself towards something, if you have no idea where you are going. See that’s where the feeling of being stuck comes from, if you have nowhere to go, if you haven’t set a goal or a vision, you're stagnant. You can’t feel like you are making progress if you haven’t chosen something to progress towards. Am I right?
So, this is going to put all of us in one of two categories in terms of the destination. Either A, you might say, “yeah Aaron I am with you. I know exactly what I want to do with my life. I haven’t been actually taking any action towards it, but I know what it is. I can make progress and actually move towards that goal and start creating some momentum so I don't feel so stuck anymore.” Or, you can be person B who says, “yeah I hear you Aaron, but I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life.” And that’s okay too, because of the solution regardless which of these two categories you fall into is largely the same. If you do one thing, regardless of whether you know your goal is, or if you have no clue — you need to foster a spirit of curiosity.
What do I mean by that? (If you're person A…) If you know where you are headed and you know what you want to do with your life, you have to be curious to get there. Why do you need to be curious? Because you need to learn — how to get there, you need to be curious about who's done it before, who’s the best at it, who I can model, where can I get training or information on the subject, what can I do, what resources can I use to propel me towards that goal?
If you're person B who doesn’t have that goal fixed in your mind yet, curiosity will solve it also. Because making a choice about what you want to do with your life implies that you have options. You can’t choose something if you don't have options. You can’t have options if you don't take a look at what's out there. So what do you do if you don't know what you want to do? You get curious! Start exploring, start matching things that you value, start matching – wherever you are in your life, things that actually make you feel enjoyable.
If you used to be a teacher and that made you feel alive, look into something that can may help you foster and make use of that skill. If you are not interested in a career right now, you may want to stop smoking, you may want to start living healthier and getting yourself in a better shape. You may just want to be a better parent. Start looking at things in your life that are meaningful to you and find something that will drive you. You need to have something that wakes you up in the morning and say “I want to make progress on this today.” Because if you wake up in the morning and you have no ambition to improve anything, you are going to feel like you are not going anywhere. Why? Because if you are not progressing, what are you doing? You are stagnant.
If you're a car and it is just sitting out there not driven anywhere, that car isn't stuck but might as well be. Because it is not making any progress, it’s not being driven and there's no destination, there is no progress. You might as well bolt the car to the ground. That’s where the problem comes in. So your solution is curiosity. Whether you know where you want to go with your life short term or long term, or whether you have no idea – stay curious. Find something that means something to you. Something that gives your life energy, wakes you up and literally makes you want to move towards it and take action every single day. I know I took a long time just to talk about the subject of destination, but I think it’s really important to know where you are headed and have a destination. Whether you have one or you don't have one yet, get one and stay curious, model excellence and move towards something that’s going to be meaningful to you.
So we have step 1 – realizing that you are not stuck, because not being in motion doesn’t mean you are immoveable. B (step 2), we have find a destination, a destination that will compel you and gives you somewhere to go. Number 3 (step 3)? Find mentors! And that’s mentors with an “-S”. Because one of the best things we can do is for ourselves in any area of our lives is to have more, different, and quality perspectives. We need to have perspectives. And mentors dont have to be somebody you know. You could say, “I don't know anybody that can help me with what I want to do.” You don't have to use people you know. I have a list of mentors that help me in what I like to do with my life, and they have never met me! But I follow them. I mean, this is a wonderful time that we live in to learn anything. Because anybody who’s an expert on a subject and has made a career out of being expert on a subject will likely have a YouTube channel, they have websites, newsletters, they likely have free training for you.
You're watching this right now and I guarantee you haven’t paid a dime for it. Why? Because this is my passion. So find mentors, people who are excellent – the best in their field at what they do. Whatever your area of interest is or whatever you are curious about, find those mentors. Learn from them. And a mentor isn't a person for you to obsess over. A mentor, a good mentor is someone who is obsessed with your success. Someone who’s job is to wake up every day and provide the tools that will help you get better at whatever area, whatever subject it is, that they're experts in. Find mentors. Read their books, watch their videos, go to their websites and get their training. If it's someone that you connect with, buy their materials if you can afford it. Do something that will help you learn more about what it is. Because when you have a mentor, now you have a coach. Now you have somebody to coach you and drive and give you perspective that you wouldn't have had otherwise. So make sure you have mentors. I don't care what it is that you want to do with your life, I don't care what your destination is, find someone’s…with an “-S”! 🙂 Find multiple mentors that will help you and guide you along your path. Because they will challenge you. They will challenge you to be better. I know it's helped me. I'm either watching, reading or listening to something from people that I've found, people I consider my mentors in my life every day. Not a day goes by that I am not interacting somehow with somebody who's going to help me progress towards my goal — and my goal is to help you.
So remember these things, you are not stuck, you just need a destination, a vivid destination that means something to you and get some mentors, mentors that are going to help you get there. Because if you do those things you are not going to feel stuck anymore. I guarantee you. And you are going to start living the best life of your life. Thanks for listening; once again I am Aaron Keith Hawkins. As always you can find me on aaronkeithhawkins.com. I hope you feel that you've spent your time valuably today with me. I really appreciate you being here.