Unbreakable Success Podcast, Episode 54
Joscelyn Duffy – How to get from unexpected tragedy to unshakable triumph.
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We don't need to be struck with a life-altering tragedy in order to “wake up” and create an inspired, meaningful, fulfilled life.
There are plenty of powerful and amazingly influential people who don't have a particularly awe-inspiring story that sparked a sudden shift or transformed them into a new or improved version of themselves.
However, I do believe that we all benefit from some of the very special individuals among us who face seemingly unbearable situations, thrive through them, then selflessly share their journey so that we can better understand how it's possible to endure even the worst of days.
When we're willing to authentically share our challenges with each other, we unleash our ability to defy common logic, spark self-reflection, and strengthen our ability to face even our toughest days.
Case in point, my friend Joscelyn Duffy.
Less than 23 months before this interview, Joscelyn was told by her physicians that she was going to die. Even as I type these words, I know I'm unable to fully comprehend the emotional weight of hearing that your medical professionals don't know what else to do to keep you alive.
Joscelyn isn't just still here with us, she's thriving and doing work that she loves. She's also not just sharing her own story to inspire others, she's helping other people find their voice and share their own personal stories.
As I said, we don't need to be struck with a life-altering tragedy in order to have an inspired life, but we do need to embrace the lessons of those who have.
Joscelyn's story, and her willingness to share it, is a perfect representation of the power of human story and spirit. Just spending a few moments with her will give you a deeper understanding of courage, resiliency, self-concept, and authenticity.
You're going to feel like you've made a new friend in today's episode. Please make sure you pay it forward and share it.
TRANSCRIPT:
Aaron: 00:00:00 Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of unbreakable success. Definitely excited to share with our guests today, Joscelyn Duffy. She has many facets to her expertise, but Jocelyn, if I'm right, I would. I would. It would be safe to say your jam is helping people, especially entrepreneurs, get in touch with their message, clarify what their messages in any form and be able to get their message and their mission to out there in a way that truly expresses who they are, what's important to them, and most of all what they're looking to share with their audience and help them in their business and slash or life depending on what their focus is at the time. I'm. One of the things I, I. I'm amazed by your story and I'm humbled by your story you've had at Joscelyn has not once but twice a kind of looked her mortality in the face when she was hit with some serious illnesses and was able to thrive through it.
Aaron: 00:00:51 And that in in a big way really led to your journey of finding this path to where you are today. And it's, it's, it's, it's humbling to hear your story, it's a very special story and I'm extremely grateful to have met you and gotten to know you a little bit and be able to call your friend today and have you on to share something with the audience that I know for a fact is definitely going to help them out and their journey and their mission, whatever they're looking to build in their life. So, uh, welcome Joscelyn and, and tell us a little bit about how you're doing today please.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:01:25 Oh, well thanks so much for having me. I'm delighted to share, as you mentioned, because of what my life has has brought my way in. What I've created from it. This is really is about service on the ground is level for me, so I'm so happy and blessed to be sharing these messages on a, on a global scale. Um, so there's a lot going on right now. I'm working with incredible people all over the world and really helping them as beautiful intro, by the way, master their messaging. And really I love working with visionary entrepreneurs to help them make their revolutionary ideas relatable and I know there's something you and I talked about too. How do we mix that pragmatic and that profound or like pragmatic in that personal aspect. That's what I love to do is making business deeply human, right? So we we're fully expressing are as communicators, as entrepreneurs at the same time as we're helping our audience awakened to and step into their full potential. So we're really working to move towards that individual collective potential on a global scale, which you know, when you, when you've seen death and brush that line, come back with this, this Gusto to really help others and maximize the moment and the momentum that we have, especially as entrepreneurs that we all have a platform, right? Even if there's 100 people, a thousand, 100,000, whatever the case may be, right? We all have that platform and that audience waiting to hear what we uniquely have to share. So that's where I come in.
Aaron: 00:02:50 Yeah, you've definitely done an amazing job at it. I know as a, as an author and a ghost writer, it's been, what, 15 books for you that you've helped get to New York Times bestseller list and you've had some, some clients of yours that were gastro top influencers, people on Oprah and that type of thing. So you've, this isn't a new hobby for you. This is like real powerful work that you've been doing on a, on a big scale and not that it's all about numbers and what list you're on it, that kind of thing. But it's, you know, it's one of those I'm measuring metrics to say, okay, how much impact can we have and how many people can we reach and how many lives can we change with the work that we're doing? And you're certainly done an excellent job of doing that. Um, but I have to ask it, if you looked back, you know, years ago, is there something that you expected to be doing? How did this sort of play out for you?
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:03:43 Not at all. This is, is me embracing life. And Aaron I always talk. One of my favorite sayings is, love your mountains or what I mean by that is love your adversities, love your experiences, and that's really how I came to be where I am today. I never would have painted or even wished my life to be what is in the last 10 years in terms of the periods of suffering in great adversity that I knew on a personal level, but had I not had those, I wouldn't be doing what I have today. I wouldn't have the wisdom to contribute that I do today and I'm so grateful for that. I just met with my naturopath this week, was a brilliant German doctor and she said to me, she goes, I don't get it. Less than 23 months ago from this week, I was told I was going to die.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:04:22 Wow. And I'm thriving today and I've been thriving for a while. Was running, biking, and I couldn't. I mean I couldn't walk. I was severely malnourished. I had a blood clot that went undiagnosed and, and she said, I don't get it. How do you go from near death? And I mean, my organs were shutting down, I was getting blood transfusions and nearly everyone had given up on me. A doctor told me I was going to die. How do I go from that to being where I am? And I said, I think I had to go through that. And I think that had to be my accelerated wisdom gaining when you shared hospital rooms with people who are dying, when you've known great physical suffering yourself, there is such clarity and it's almost instantaneous, right? Can we just go like what you're talking about lying on the floor and you're just like this awakening. Yeah. And it's, it's such a gift. And if we can love that experience and really take the time to self observe and extract from it what we're intended to share in this lifetime, it's magic. It's magic. Like the fuel is incredible.
Aaron: 00:05:21 Yeah, it's. It is. It is amazing. And it's life changing. I think one of the things I love about what you do is, is that when you, when you meet with these people and entrepreneurs and people that just have a message that they want to get out there, you know, everybody has their, their mountains. Um, but not everybody looks the same way. Some people are just standing at it, staring at it going, crap, I got him out and I can't go anywhere. Um, but then for others, for so many different reasons, they may face element mountain climate, kick a hole in it and just go through it or get over it just because there's something even worse behind him the day that they got to get through it somehow. But the most important thing is the fact that if, when we go through that process and when we share that process, it gives other people permission to say, wow, that's interesting because I'm kinda dealing with something different, but it does kind of suck.
Aaron: 00:06:20 And you know, hearing that the stories like your story just blows me away and we're going to go. I'd love to get a little deeper into it for a second. If we can, um, but it blows me away because it can, it, it gives, it helps people understand that the perspective, because look, being an entrepreneur all by itself, if you have no other problem, then I'm not making enough money in my business. That's a problem. It's a real problem. People have bills to pay, families to feed and you've got to keep the lights on, that kind of thing. Those are human needs, food, water, shelter. We need that stuff and we don't have to have another tragedy on top of it or another difficulty on top of it for us to, to have real struggle. So I, I don't want people to think that, you know, unless you face him some, you know, really life threatening tragedy.
Aaron: 00:07:10 You don't know what life is about. That's not the case. The point is, and what I find so valuable in people like you that have a humility and the courage to have faced what you face in and have this light bulb that goes off that says, okay, this doesn't mean I'm awesome. It means I need to show other people how awesome they are and how am I going to do that and, and you've taken that ball and you've run with it and, and I'm honored to know somebody like you that has it that much heart to see something or to go through something that has physically almost killed them and in turn it into something that lightens up somebody else's life their day and their perspective on how much they really can achieve. So there's a little, you know, my, my, my lead magnet isn't converting as much, as much as I hoped it would have.
Aaron: 00:07:58 Kind of puts that kind of stuff into perspective and say, okay, we can figure this out. We can get it going. It's, it's not that bad of a problem and I have to. Even now, and you touched on earlier, I have my own story where I was kind of looking at my own mortality and it's. And it's certainly even today when I have those frustrations because I still do and in businesses challenges. It helps me put that stuff into perspective too. And it's important no matter who we are, that we share these stories like this. Um, but if, if we could for the sake of helping others understand where you're coming from, how did this, did that, your mountain, how did that come into your life? Because it can. I'm sure it was pretty unexpected. And if you could share with people how that happened for you?
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:08:42 Yeah. Well there were two mountains kind of separated, but a nice smooth valley. But my background, I've always been a writer and a communicator. So my background was working at the heart of the financial sector as a product specialist at a marketing on the equity side. So it was giving a lot of opportunity. Early on, I was recruited with Edward Jones, worked in St Louis, Missouri and Toronto in Canada and I was training financial advisers coast to coast on building stock portfolios. I was writing national financial newsletters. I was scripting broadcasts for ceos, presidents that are level politicians, like gifted, a lot of opportunity to learn a lot and to work with some really incredible people, some big game changers in the industry and enjoying it. And, but there was always kind of this calling within me that there was, there was something more I wanted to give more heart, I wanted to give more the human side of the communication, but I was stuck writing inside this box, you know, there were only certain words I could use.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:09:36 There was only so much space to express that didn't have that full freedom of self expression for myself or for those I was serving in the audience. And there was this kind of nudge, there was a whisper from the universe and I kind of heard it, but I'm someone who can be happy anywhere. And I was like, it's okay. You know, I've had a, I was using my creativity outside of work as well. I was playing provincial level sports and state level if you're leaving the state's equivalent. Um, and networking, I mean just really balanced life, eating healthy, joyful. And then from seemingly out of nowhere, I was struck with a life threatening case of Lupus at 26. So I went from training for a marathon. I mean, we're talking running 50 miles at a time for fun. I loved it and doing everything possible in life, like I was a maximizer, I wanted to do it all.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:10:25 It was focused on doing, but I was really living every moment and getting out and doing everything possible to going from that to being bedridden for two years and I did have a blood clot as well that nearly cost me my life. Wow. And so having, you know, going from this energy source of external people and collaborations and connections and that energy to being within the four walls of my apartment and really just being there and being with that and getting past the shock of having this shift in life and everything that you knew and you connected your identity to kind of being swept away and realizing like I still have myself and that's my why. My book is called unshakable to the core book about that experience. Right? Because I still had who I was and I really used that as my foundation. So I've spoken with so many people have written for so many people who have transformed their adversities and we all say the same thing.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:11:20 It's that gift of introspection that is one of the most wonderful gifts of what we've been through and I mean, I mean I've, I've, I've worked with people who've had stillbirth the sudden loss of a loved one life threatening illness, like you name it across the board and they're never easy and there are some, like a gentleman named Michael who watched his, his, his wife's condition deteriorate from als and she passed after eight years and he was so real about it. Like you don't heal from something like that. It's so painful. It's never going to make sense. Right? But we can create meaning when we start to contribute. It takes that time of introspection and observation of our lives to understand, to put some pieces in perspective. So I used that two years and I'm saying two years in bed and I had two to three half days of waking hours a day.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:12:03 I would get up because I was an athlete. I knew how to push beyond what was possible from a physical or medical perspective and get to walking in and even get to running again. And in those moments had no pain and rebuilt my strength and I was walking and I was painting so I had my creative outlets and use that to really gather this sense of wisdom and I really had this. It was like a very much a spiritual awakening. And interestingly I was kind of on that path. Be Really careful what you wish for. If the state is at 23 years old, I kind of said like, I'd love to write a book, but I don't feel like they have enough life experience or life experience. So you know, the universe is always listening, so frame your wishes carefully so I can laugh about it other than like, okay, very funny.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:12:48 I mean that was several years of my late twenties when you know, obviously there are things I'd much rather have been doing than being at home in bed, but I made the most of it. Right. We don't let your circumstances dictate what you create. Right? So choosing to use that time and then coming to the spiritual place. I just wanted to give back. I just wanted to say thank you for everyone who is part of my life. I started like volunteering, teaching spin class at the gym because the gym had been such a big part of my rehabilitation, so just say thank you to the people and just got these amazing people in at lunchtime every day to just come together. This energy. We used to rock it out to like eighties music, right? Doesn't matter than iteration. Nobody's little 11 it and then I started to write a second book called the good news report and it was a compilation of 25 stories of people I knew who are living their lives with real passion and purpose and a lot of these people were influencers.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:13:36 They were were international or national professional speakers. Just really incredible business people and I just said, can I share with you how I see you? Can I write the story of your beauty, your potential, your strength? This is just what I need to do to say thank you and I. I didn't publish a book and it was never my intention. My intention was to gift the chapters to those that I was writing about, so unbeknownst to me, that book was the catalyst in my vocation being created. I got four book deals from writing that and they're in kind of became a ghost writer, so to speak. It was so much more than that, but 50 books later I had never gone out and sought a book deal. It was just referral after referral, the right people at the right time and just reaching out to say, you know, talk to someone I admired for years and saying, Hey, I just want to let you know like how influential you have been, how much you're an inspiration. You know, here's what I'm doing and to get an immediate note back or sharing conversation, they're like, I need you right now. I have a book due in eight weeks. Can you help me get it out to my publisher lesson in and of itself? I have to pause for a second. For everybody that's listening to this, you might need to hit like the 32nd rewind 15 seconds 'em
Aaron: 00:14:52 to the fact that you decided to give to people that you admired in and you wanted to share their story and just, it doesn't matter how you did it, but you wanted to offer something to someone else with no expectation of return and low and behold that because you were so giving you a ton back. I'm almost, you know, not by accident, but it's just the way it works. Um, that, that is such a, such a beautiful lesson for, for all of us, especially in the business world because giving is, you know, it's 2018 giving is marketing, you know, not bragging. Giving, giving is giving us a real marketing and it, and it's certainly a powerful lesson, uh, for, for all of us in a beautiful one because I, it's, it's obviously you're so sincere about what you were doing and why you were doing it. So I appreciate your sharing that one.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:15:44 And there's psychology to support. This is Adam grant's give and take, right? Retreat. Recharge that are givers, takers and matchers givers. Givers can be at the bottom of the success level because they're giving away too much. They're doing everybody else's work, but givers are also at the top right. And when it give her experience the way that that moves others to want to succeed in that same way, you know, it's, it's unmatched and that's what we want our world to shift to. Yeah. So there. Yeah, there's so much in giving. I wrote a post about this the other day, like just, I'm humbled by the comments I get from all over the world on my blogs and my articles on third party sites. Like it's just incredible. And just, I always thank the people because you know, it's, we're making that time. It's a conscious choice to make that decision to say, Hey, I just wanted to let you know this changed my life and I've done it to others as well and it's so surprising.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:16:36 I've done it with people that you think are unreachable. The thing that people have is you don't establish great success and you think like, there's no way to get an immediate response saying like, it just made my day. We forget about these little things and these little things really do have impact in a world where we're so tied into automated automation and robots. Everything else, you know, we're, when we're connecting from the heart, that's really where we're standing out. And it's almost ironic that that's what's helping us stand out in this world. But it is, and we're shifting into this human economy going, operating from this with our heads, the, you know, the intellect can reply, replicated by the robots, the heart, the connectivity, the creativity can't. Yeah. So that's really our point of differentiation in our brands. Is that fair enough?
Aaron: 00:17:23 I mean, it's one of the best pieces of advice you'd give somebody and it was looking at what everybody else is saying you need to be doing and then just run the other direction. And then this day of, of all like you should mention automation and, and, you know, alternate automate everything to simplify and free up your time. And I get it, these things have good intentions behind them because it is true if you can automate something, a process or something, it can free up some time, but there's a cost to it. You know, if you eliminate the human interaction and the willingness to have a real conversation with people and offer a real compliment or a real gift or real service or you know, to have those touch points of interaction, you completely stand out, completely stand out like I dare you. Everybody has an email list that they're growing. I dare you to send a personal email to everybody to opt in or, or a short video. You will blow their mind it, it's, it's the truth. So this, this point of being real, being authentic, you know, when the best things you can do for businesses just be you, you're the person, not you, the trying to be the efficient version of your business. Just be you as the person and share that as many people as you can and it makes a huge difference.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:18:37 Yeah, and as you mentioned, we are really are ahead of the curb. Like my tribe, I call them the redefine nurse, defy as in challenging the status quo, right? But these are people who are redefining the way we live, the way we do business, the way we see leadership to be hurt centered and people centric. Right? And, and I mean our world is shifting in this direction. You look at the new regulations in the European Union is changing the way we do our optins, the way we do our email lists, right? So if you want to operate from the heart, you're ahead of the curve right now. Let's roll with us. Like I joked, I joked with a client and I said, you know, I'm not really creating a society of rebels. They said, you know what I am, I'm creating a society of those who really want to defy because normalcy right now is, you know, put this post to automation. This person pushed the scale and like we do want to make our lives easier. Not Overwork ourselves. You and I understand that because we've faced your death. We understand the importance of honoring our bodies and not stressing too much. The same case in point, like I will always have a one on one component to my business. It's my fuel, you know, if I'm running all ecourses and that's it and I'm never talking to a single person who's working with me. It's lost. It's lost.
Aaron: 00:19:50 Yeah. That is a, that is a great. There's a great point. Um, so you work through this, this challenge with this physical challenge for, for two years and you mentioned two mountains. How did that, how did they work in and you know, without trying to ask you to relive everything for that, how did, how did that impact you from a standpoint of now like looking over your shoulder and having gone through that, having, having thrives through it and gotten through it, how did that, how did that work out? What did that look like and feel like to get through that? I mean, once is bad enough, but twice.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:20:31 Yeah. I love the way you framed that question because that's exactly the way it happened and it helped me see things in a different light. So I mean I'm, I'm thriving or I'd go out and I ended up working with New York Times bestselling authors, some of the world's top motivational speakers, like right off the bat, it just like loving this and I am behind the scenes a little bit because I'm helping these great leaders craft their messages. I'm not having a lot of my own stuff out there as well. So that's what kind of lesson I learned is that imbalance. But I ended up having symptoms. I had 50 pounds of fluid in my abdomen, so I literally looked like I'm five, two and a buck 15. So I look like nine months pregnant with twins. But I had a blood clot that went undiagnosed and despite my pleas, the doctors couldn't find it because when you're looking through fluid, it's like looking into a black hole and trying to find something.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:21:18 So three doctors later, the only answer was you're going to die. And I said, well that's not gonna work for me. So with the support of family and friends, I got on a plane and I flew across the country to a doctor I trusted. Within 10 minutes he said it's a blood clot and he was right now, so never give up, you know, and defy rather than justify, justify as I will, I'm going to die because there are no answers or, and this is the way it's going to be because there's nothing else I can do defy as this is not gonna work for me, you know, I'm going towards what I believe is possible. I've got a mission in this life. I've got things to do. So, um, I ended up spending four months out of two years in hospital, in and out of hospital.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:22:00 And I mean, by the time it was done, I could hardly walk. I had lost all my hair. Um, I was on blood transfusions. My organs were shutting down, like it was severe because the blood clot was in the main vein in my abdomen and I couldn't hold down or assimilate any kind of nutrients from food. So extremely, extremely severe. But just making that choice and having that support from a doctor and said like, I'm gonna find an answer and I believe it's a blood clot. And he was right. You know, and then having that support around there was so much that had happened in the weeks that I wasn't able to eat, that there was so much that had to be repaired within my body. Um, so really getting back into that truck. But what I've found to answer your question is after this occurred, the first case of Elvis was I went from doing to being like on the greatest level it was do, do, do that really human like drive, drive, drive, drive, drive.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:22:50 But I was a driver. Like I graduated top of my university class. I was, it was in the elite training program with that where Joe was like, I was so driven and I was enjoying it. I just wanted to do everything but it was due focused and that it was just like I just want to be. And I became a reiki master and alongside being a ghostwriter and intuitive healing practice. So I was working in that realm. I mean I have like multilevel a multi million dollar businessmen laying on a massage table in my field are saying, should I sell the business for 25 years? Should I leave my marriage? What's my purpose? So there was a very pragmatic element. We're open to the more a theorial, more spiritual answers to their questions. So it was really beautiful. The second. Then the second illness hit. What happened was everything just grounded out for me, and I know you and I talked about this, it's just like everything fell into place, the pragmatic, pragmatic and the profound, just the everything fit together.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:23:45 It was like instantaneous clarity. And what I say now is the deep that the greatest challenge of this life is not to become deeply spiritual by removing ourselves from our experiences, the greatest challenges to become deeply human by immersing ourselves in experiences. And that's if, if I can summarize the lesson that I've learned, what I'm sharing out, that's it. And we talk about like connecting from the heart and business. That's it. Like it's all about making business deeply human, not removing ourselves to the point where it's fully automated or we're just not in it. Not Passionate, not loving. It's not tied to our purpose. It's the opposite of that. It's fully connected to who we are. At the greatest level, real fully expressing ourselves in our communication, you know, we're real about our adversities, but we're celebrating our successes. There's this beautiful balance and we're relating to our audience like it's. It's so ironic, but we stand out by relating. Yeah, that's really helpful in our brands. It's by not being different.
Aaron: 00:24:42 Yeah, but by showing people that we are like them, we're different than a lot of other businesses
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:24:50 been. It allows you to create your market because we all have a market. We're all interpreters of reality, right? Our perspective is power. You mentioned perspective. I love that because for me, that's huge component of our voice. So we say our voices, our gifts, passion, knowledge and perspective. Yeah. That's contributed in a way that promotes empathy, growth at ease of life for others. Right? So we all have this unique compensative experiences that no one else has that shaped our perspective, our view on life. We're interpreting the same reality, but we're interpreting it in an important way. And so if you're wondering like, should I get my message out? Should I share my story a bit? Yes. And this is why, because you have an audience that needs to learn the way only you can teach because of your perspective on life. Yeah. So, so I mean I get chills saying it because I'm so passionate about this.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:25:37 It's so important and that self expression is so healing, you know, that was a big part of my journey and so I can share that with others and help others get to the point where they just feel so liberated and so free that not only they're fully, not only because they're fully self expressed, but because they're contributing like I have given my all to the world and whatever comes now is what is intended to come. You're still working hard. You're still doing the pragmatic business stuff. Yeah. Right. But you just, you're just trusting in something greater. It's like I'm putting my articles out online and the residence and what's coming from and what comes from one podcast to another is incredible. And it's like, all right, the world saying, Hey Jocelyn, love this. Wanted. Alright, let me serve right. There's, there's, it's not about the ego. It's not about I need to be in lights. It's like this is service at its greatest height is great as depth and dimension.
Aaron: 00:26:33 I appreciate it. I appreciate it and I love it. And there's so many powerful lessons in, in what you had to say. It's funny you mentioned the children giving you chose because you, you were talking about, um, all of us having our own versions of reality. I just tweeted that like two days ago. They're like a one liner about. Yeah, we need to remember that we all have our own version of reality and that's something else about it. But, uh, it was just one of the things that really popped in my head. I didn't, it wasn't a scheduled thing. It was just something that I had been for whatever reason I had been thinking about. Um, but yeah, I love that perspective. We are. And that's what makes perspective so important because we all have our own history's, our own baggage, so to speak or own experiences, wins, losses.
Aaron: 00:27:14 So that when we share those, especially from a business standpoint, from, from a business owner standpoint and the reverse of what you're doing, whether you're a fitness coach or you know, a massage therapist or a life coach, relationship groups, doesn't matter what it is, when you're sharing your perspective, uh, about life and slash or your expertise and share it from your genuine perspective as opposed to what you think is the appropriate perspective to have in that industry. You stand out because one of the biggest I want to probably my biggest mistake when I started out was, okay, what am I supposed to be doing when I, as I do what I do, like what am I supposed to be doing? So I'm looking around and see what everybody else is doing. I'm trying to fit into that mold. And nobody's hearing that because it's like painting a white spot on a white wall. Just another one. And it is definitely a process and certainly today I'm totally comfortable with it. I could give a crap when people think about, you know, and there's always going to be cynics regardless even when you're trying to be like everybody else who's going to be cynics. So if you're going to have people be cynical towards you in whatever it is you're doing, you might as well stand out and create success. Success while you're doing it. Take advantage of it.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:28:36 Renee Brown, Brown has a great book on that, braving the wilderness, you know, if anyone's struggling with like, how do I deal with the critics and everything else and, and, and it's so important when you are communicating and yourself expressing, right? Because I always talk about the difference between self expression and seeking acceptance, right? That self expression is being willing to just tell the world who you are, what you have to offer, and welcoming them in versus seeking acceptance is conditional. You're not fully expressing until someone likes you or they tell you you're okay, right? So I mean it takes self awareness and building that confidence and being comfortable in your own to get to that point of expression. So follow that process from self exploration to self expression and it's really just time with yourself, right? How do we get to know anyone? We spend time with them, we ask questions, we observed do it with yourself.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:29:22 Even if you're carving out five, 15, 20 minutes a day, if you've got kids and a business and everything else going on like just carpet sometime, like it's such a powerful starting point and it's always been a part of my process when I'm helping anyone develop their message is to really own that internal reason for why you're doing what you're doing. Right? There's that external reason, that external need but in and when you match the two, that's magic. I call it the intersection, right? But so getting to know that internal reason, it's so powerful. You know, you start Simon Sinek, start with why you know there is a great starting point as well. If you really want to get the point of clarity, you know, where, what's the fuel behind my message, your message.
Aaron: 00:30:00 So true and so powerful and it. And it's just most things I have to admit. I'm sure you agree it's, it's, it can be very simple to explain, but it's not always easy and I do want to recognize that for people that are listening to like, you know, I'd love to be different, but you know, just to put myself out there to have these conversations or do some facebook lives and write these articles into fully say what I really feel like saying without hedging or hesitating. It's not an easy thing to do all the time. Depending on your level of comfort and courage and how long you've been doing it. But it is so worth it. And I will say this. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Like the more you just say, screw it. I'm just going to say this exactly how I want to say it.
Aaron: 00:30:42 I'm not going to try to filter the language or filter my expression and trust me for everybody listening. Please take a Joscelyn's words of advice and just express who you are in your business and your personal life and while at the same time really trying to always be in a process of improving who you are. Because I'm sure you've, you've, you know, Johnson, you've seen and heard people who are, we'll do some things that aren't quite, you know, arguably are appropriate and they'll use the excuse was just who I am, you know, almost as a, you know, it doesn't matter who I offend because I'm just meeting me there. And that is something to. There's something that just, you mentioned the word awareness, something to be aware of. So if you are, if you are really at a place where you're completely hesitating to show the world who you are, the maybe mentioned time for your selfers reflections.
Aaron: 00:31:31 Okay. Why not like is there something that you think you need to be doing differently in your business? Because if that's the case, that's a whole other adjustment that can be made. Um, and it sort of, it kind of helps itself because the freer you are and expressing who you are and what you want to say. You know, if there is some pushback internally, it gives you a chance to say, okay, why am I pushing back? Might just nervous because I don't want to be fully seen. Or is there something that I, I really need to adjust and change. I'm speaking of, of expression and creating this message. I know you have so many things that you help your clients with and the people that work with you in your gross writing work and you're working one on one with people. I love to get into a couple of ways that for those that have this message, maybe they're new at this or maybe they've been at it for awhile and they're just, they don't feel like they're really clear about what it is they want to say and how they want to be different in how they want to stand out.
Aaron: 00:32:31 What are some of the starting points when, if, if today you are going to take them on as a client or have a call, which I, you do for, you know, I'll, I'll, we'll definitely get into linking up your site so people can schedule some time to speak with you personally, uh, and get some of your help. But what are some of the first steps that you help people get through when they're saying, you know, Jocelyn, I really want to be able to clarify the story I have or this message I have in the context of my business so that I can take advantage of this being authentic and being vulnerable and, and attracting more people by doing it. Where do you start them out?
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:33:07 Yeah, so I actually have, I have an entire methodology which, which I am. I'm working on three little booklets to get it up there soon. I'm working on two books as well at any course. So there'll be a lot available within the next six, eight months. Beautiful. Yeah. So there are several, and I mentioned the intersection and that's a great starting point for me because it's really that point. That's point of magic where we connect our internal reason for why we're doing what we're doing with the external reason. So we match our calling, our purpose, what we stand for, with the needs of market in a really powerful way to our communication. So that's a standpoint and someone's wondering like, where do I start? There's always going to be value when you're communicating and speaking to human values, if you remember nothing else. Remember that.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:33:49 So what do you stand for? And start there. If you want resonance, speak to human values by I say the words, courage, compassion, confidence, respect, love. You're nodding. This happens every time I speak these words to people. You're nodding, right? It's an instantaneous connection. So if you're wondering where do you start, what do you stand for? Right? You can go. You can go online and look up like universal human values. You can find a list for them. See which ones, like, just read through them and see which ones resonate with you. You're going to feel it when you read it and you go, Oh yeah, I know why. Right? And then you start to connect, you know, look at your life experiences and connect your personal stories to it. And I've got um, uh, a model for storytelling and it's called the s squared storytelling model.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:34:37 And the reason I call it a squared is a story and strategy. So the strategy strategy amplifies the impact of the story. The story amplifies, amplifies the impact of the strategy, and it's cyclical, cyclical and reciprocal. Yeah, right. And one without the other doesn't the same weekend inspire through our stories and that might be great, but we just leave our audience there when we give them strategy, which is like how then do you do this? So when shakeable do the court by buck, it was how I navigated through that, that illness, but the strategies are not solely for navigating illness there, for navigating any kind of challenge or adversity. They're universal and they speak to those universal human values. Right? So what can you extract? What lessons and what strategies can you extract? They don't have to be complicated, right? If you could make those revolutionary ideas relatable, that's golden.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:35:27 Run with that. Right? So just really simple strategies that someone can digest, process and incorporate into their life. So let your story be the foundation, not the focus. Don't stay there. Right? The objective always has to be from to take your audience from their current point, a, their point of pain to their car to an a more ideal point b. yeah. Right. So you're using your stories, a point of relatability and it's those how to strategies that are helping them on that journey again to awaken and step into their greater potential, their fullest potential. Right? So it always has to be about your audience. We talked about this earlier, I love that then, and it's, it's why I do what I do. It's all about the people. It's about you fully self expressing as the communicator, but at the end of the day, that's only half the equation, right? Has to be about serving your audience in the best way that you can and the way that only you can with your perspective on reality, your take, because you and I are going to look at the exact same experience and extract totally different strategies and lessons from it and that's the magic in it.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:36:30 It would be a fascinating study to just take one experience and gather a group of people and just do research and what they all extract from it. Right. And see the value in our diversity in that. Yeah. Right. And how people come up with, with the strategies that they do or the lessons they do or the insights that they do. So yeah, really using your stories of foundation, appointed, relate-ability and, and really focusing on taking an audience somewhere. And I mean you can focus wherever you're comfortable. Family, company, community, humanity, right? We don't all have to go up and change the world on a global scale. Like personally, I love to work with those people because it's like, hey, nearly died twice. Got To do something real big. What if you're most comfortable in your family or in your, in your company, you don't let that be your home base.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:37:15 Operate there because know that your impact is going to ripple from there. Sure. I always said like when I was speaking in a room that one person who came up after when, Hey Jocelyn, this just changed my life today. That one person, you know, even if everyone else stood up and clapped, that one person was why I was there because they're going to go out and do something really incredible with this. Right? So we've all got that one person and that's how a movement begins with that one person, right? Who goes out and tells others, hey, you gotta hear this Aaron, Aaron, and this just changed my life. This just opened up my world view in a way I didn't even know it could be opened up. Yeah. Yeah.
Aaron: 00:37:50 It's such a huge event. It's such a huge advantage. Um, the fact that we have these own, there are individual stories and our own perspectives on them. That's the biggest advantage and actually supports what we were talking about earlier as far as being unique and being an individual because you know when you apply it, when you tell that story and it's only going to be told the way you can tell it, right, no matter what it is, even if it doesn't even have to be a story about your own personal life, you can tell a story about a movie you watched that $50 million other people may have watched, but the way you relate to that story and the lesson that you extracted from it is only going to be
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:38:27 yours. Yeah. And let's get pragmatic here. Competitive Advantage. Yes. One hundred percent. Yes. I. I've had this discussion. People where they're like, well, when I come up with great idea, someone's going to steal it, or someone just stole my idea. If you tie it to the emotion that you feel and your lived experiences, no one can replicate that. They can go ahead. I mean, I create unique concepts for people, universal concepts they can use across all their platforms so we can go and take that concept in the wording, but they'll never replicate the depth of it like your cat because it's tied to who you are on such a deep personal level. So yeah, you want to stand out and be competitive. That's how to do it.
Aaron: 00:39:06 I love that strategy because I love it as a, as a starting point for a strategy. We'll do the two things. You mentioned. Number one, the values and expressing what your values are. Because you can do that in any business, in any conversation. You're not going to. Nobody's going to be turned off by you having a conversation and incorporating your values into it and what's important to you because like you said, you just start talking to list and I immediately, instinctively just started nodding my head as you were saying because I'm like, you, you're not going
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:39:36 Joseph. I don't want to talk about love, respect. I want to talk about it. No, nothing to do with it. You occurred is a nonstarter for me. Sorry. If you're human, you're human like it's going to happen.
Aaron: 00:39:46 It's such a win because you can't get that wrong. Honestly, nobody does. Everybody listening to this, to this, this conversation right now, you can't fail at this because you're. When you, if you think about what's your biggest values are a and sure we all have overlap overlapping them. You can't get that wrong because whatever they are for you, other people will in some way relate to it. Maybe you're number one is somebody else's number three, but it's still in their core. It's part of what they know is important even if they're not always acting on it and then and secondly having that story and relating a story and attaching it to a strategy, you know that and that's where you. I love the merging of the two and you tell your story, your story, that's universally a connective and then kind of integrating a strategy about, okay, and here's why it's relevant to what we're talking about or here's how it's relevant in the context of the service I provide or the product that I sell or this, this thing that I do or this then I can offer you.
Aaron: 00:40:50 You make it relevant and you make it real because there's nothing from anybody. They're just being being honest and open enrollment woman and that's, you know, a lot of people get turned off and I certainly did years ago. It was very turned off by selling, but, but the truth is there's really no need to sell if you have a product or service that you really believe in because using just two simple things that you just started with today, values and story and integrating it to what you do and you can't go wrong. I definitely appreciate you sharing that. Yeah,
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:41:22 I mean you're instantly connected to something bigger because the second you speak to these are universal values. Even though you're speaking to like, this is what I stand for. As soon as you connect to the values, it's about something so much bigger than you and that in itself, that instant where you decide what that is, has just made this way bigger than you. This is taken self expression and turned it into service. This has taken communication and turned it into contribution. Yeah, it's magic. It's like, wow. And and, and like any concern like egoic in terms of I have to be this or in going in terms of I'm fearful that I can't do this or I'm not going to it. It's not as big anymore. Right? Because you're connected, you're instantly connected to your audience, into all of humanity and this really big way.
Aaron: 00:42:08 I love that and I appreciate everybody listening. I'm going to get, can I be a little bit greater because you gave us some two big things there. The concept of discussing values and an integrating story into your, into your business. What's, what's one more, if you could tack on one more thing that they could do, um, as they're all nodding their heads and saying, actually this is pretty cool and I could see how this can work. What's, what's one more thing? If you could give us a piece of advice for, again, helping people share their message in and get it out there in the context of helping their business and their mission. Mission Grove and this is so applicable anywhere. It doesn't have to revisit. It could be a nonprofit, could be something that you're looking to to start within your own company. You know, it could be a nine to five, but if you're looking to improve anything that is you do on a daily basis, these things are certainly applicable because wrote so what'd you do for a living when he realized it or not? You haven't messaged. You have something that you need to be sharing because we were all our own brand regardless of where we work.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:43:09 So what's what's. What's the third thing? Let me, let me use the third thing to frame this. I talk about using the ideal realist perspective. Okay, so a lot of us are idealists. When we want to like change the world, right? We want to redefine the way we're doing things. We're thinking about these revolutionary ideas, but if we just impose that through our communication, it seems unfathomable or unreachable. It's, it's too hard to really connect to. And the real list is the one says, I accept things as they are the real estate in us. We'll connect on a compassionate level to their audience where they are to our story. The ideal realist says, okay, we're going to start there. We're going to be really real about how things hurt right now, what needs to change, what we need to challenge, but I'm still going to take you to this ideal, but I'm going to make it accessible for you.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:44:00 I'm going to give you these steps and we're going to be compassionate with ourselves and take small action, right? No matter how big or small is best for you, I'm going to walk you through that process and we're going to get to this ideal right? Versus just presenting this idea and you're going, I'm hurting so much right now physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and I can't even process this. I don't even see how that's possible. I just lost someone. I'm dealing with illness, right? And financial after what are the case may be so. I think that ideal realist perspective is so powerful because we're being really real with what, where things are and what they are right now, whether that's on a personal level or on a global level, both, right? Because we have to be real about what's going on in our world and incorporate that from a very compassionate and empathetic perspective. To say like, okay, this is happening, so what can we do given that, right? How can we take that into account? Not Ignore it.
Aaron: 00:44:58 Yeah. I love that because it lets you go to. Okay. Instead of taking somebody's, you know, the buddy of mine wrote a book called do a day and uh, one of the main concept of his book is that we all have these things that we want to accomplish and when we look at them, big picture, like for him there was a point where he had to lose a ton of way, like 80 pounds or close to 100 pounds. He went on to lose. There's no way you could lose it. You could fathom how do I lose that much weight? But what he said was, you know, okay, I can lose one pound. Yeah, I, and I, and I love it because I remember you reminded me when the day he said that to me, I remember his face when he said it. You know, one pound was doable and it's such a brilliant concept which you're talking about here is, is connecting. The ideal is to have the vision, if you know, you know how we get as entrepreneurs, we have these, this huge thing I want to share with you and it's almost like this.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:45:56 Here's what you can be calm and becomes almost like a weight. It's a weight. Yes. I kind of already sunk it in the ground of it in this way to my life, whether it's like financial strain or business strainer. Family's straight and then someone comes and plunks this like revolutionary vision on you. It's like a 200 pound weight just being put on top of you and you just feel sunken down even more because it feels like, well, like there's no way that's ever going to happen for me. Versus someone comes home and says, Hey Aaron, I get how you're feeling right now. Let me tell you what I've been through and I, I, you might be able to relate to this. And you're like, oh my goodness. You do understand. You're healed into wow, you're not just a super hero. You're human all and now you've got this vision.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:46:37 You know that losing 80 pounds like you have to keep that vision in mind, that vision of your slim, fit body, it always has to be in your mind. So the idealist vision has to be in there to move you forward, right? When I'm lying in bed, debilitated, it's me envisioning the future that I'm going to create when I'm out walking, running, and I'm running my thriving business again. So it's that vision kept me going, right? But there's the same case in point. It took really small steps to learn to walk again twice in my life, right? So it's always that balance, right? And it's the balance between future and present, right? Being fully present, but being so connected in our hearts and our souls and our mind to that vision of what we're creating on a personal and collective level.
Aaron: 00:47:22 I love it. Everybody be an ideal, realistic, and really at it's core, it's about empathy, isn't it? You know, because if and I can, it's certainly something I can find myself overlooking at times because you have, you want as especially heart centered entrepreneurs and you wanted to help people improve their life, business, health, relationships, whatever it is. Then you have this thing that you want to share with people because you know how beneficial it can be. You know how important it can be, but if you throw the whole thing Adam, it's almost like a lack of empathy because you get overexcited about this thing you want to do to help somebody, but you got to remember everybody is where they are or at least everybody has a story about where they are in and that's their reality and you have to be. You have to honor that story.
Aaron: 00:48:09 No matter how ridiculous you think it is or no matter how much you agree with it and it doesn't matter when you remove it or not. Perspective perspective. Everybody has that perspective and if you meet people at theirs is the core of what you're saying. Meet people at their current perspective. Acknowledge it, honor it. It's funny because I just wrote a book on influence and it's something I'm like reading my own chapter. This is so cool. I love this conversation because we're as different as the conversation is relatable, which is the point of our whole conversation here relating with people. If you you proven it on point here, this conversation people, this is a lesson in progress and why does he. Why would Johnson when he talks about here is working because I promised we didn't strategize this ahead of time. This is happening
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:48:55 and we haven't known each other for 10 years. Believe it or not, this is, this is newer, so we're there. I love what you're saying because it's empathy and compassion. Empathy is that ability to, to feel someone else's pain. Compassion is that desire to alleviate it. Right? So it's got both the empathy and compassion. Really important
Aaron: 00:49:13 to meet them where they are and guide them through it as opposed to, you know, slamming them into it.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:49:20 Let's go. No excuses, let's go. You know, and I've heard that from people and I liked the dry to a certain extent. Like you've got to have that drive, but it's there's got to be compassionate in there in our world with everything going on right, and to not know like why someone not be might not be able to drive to that objective and that deliverable right here right now because they might've lost, lost their mother yesterday, lost her father has just been diagnosed with stage three cancer. Right? You have to be considerate you what may be going on in someone's life and lean into that and be curious to know, right? That's part of our communication process is really being curious at the deepest level about people. I am blessed because I get to know the intricate details of people's lives. I mean the people I support in developing their messaging, whether inside a book that contains part Auger autobiography or memoir or their business messaging like they're just opening up their hearts, the rules, their journals, everything.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:50:17 To me, and it's such a blessing because they get to learn about like the basic human condition and human behavior and human desires and needs at the deepest and so remember that that's a gift in your business. When your clients are opening up this level and use that, use that as fuel as as a resource to really develop. You know, we talked about evolution earlier, evolution of ourselves. Your message is going to evolve with you and that's part of it is because remember, your audience isn't on a journey with you. You don't have to have it all figured out today. None of us do, right, but that's the point. You welcome your audience in and you take them on a journey with you. As you evolve, as you awaken to greater knowledge, wisdom, and insight to begin that and they're, they're growing with you and when you grow with your audience, you form an irreplaceable bond. Sure. Right? You've got that audience with you for the longterm. They're with you from the get go because you've expressed these values and they're like, hey, I stand for that too. I'd like it. I want it. I want to be a part of this. What you're creating, it has resonance for me. Yeah.
Aaron: 00:51:19 There's. This really proves your point from earlier because what we're talking about here as far as meeting people where they are, it's really about awareness because and your point earlier when you were talking about you always want to keep one on one interaction and one on one services and coaching or consulting as a part of your business and I don't know if it's where the use this was a strategy because you recognize this or not, but that is the only way. Having conversations is the only way to have a broad amount of awareness about people and the fact that people are going to be in different places and being the person that can meet people where they are and understand that they're going to have a different perspective in relation to what it is that you're providing as a business because they're going to be in different places.
Aaron: 00:52:10 You got to be aware of where they're at and that'll determine how much, how much you can push maybe how much empathy, you know. Maybe one person needs to feel more empathy than someone else. Somebody else may show up and be a place where, okay, I've come a long way and I'm so ready right now and they may want that push more than others, so it becomes an arc where you have to make sure you're hitting in the context of your conversation and your messaging and your conversations. You may need to touch on different things you made, need some push. You may need to throw in some empathy, but being able to have that connection with people and maintain that connection really provides that awareness, uh, to know that different people are going to need different things and you need to meet them wherever they are and help them through the process. That's brilliant.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:52:56 It's all about presence. Yes. Parents at the greatest level in every form of communication is a conversation with your clients. The level of connectivity will vary based on what you're doing. Obviously one on one coaching, very intimate one on one you to tell me about you at the deepest level. What's hurting? Where do you want to be? Right? And ecourse is more a conversation with leg picture, a classroom full of your ideal clients, but it still has to be a conversation. It still has to feel like you're speaking them, not to them, not at them, but with them, right? And be with them at the greatest level you can. We can do this through technology, right? And still keeping it from the heart. It's still keeping a deeply human. And that's, that's the foundation of what I do and why I do it right, is to keep this deeply human.
Aaron: 00:53:43 Well, I have to tell you that there's, there's so much value have you taken from this brief conversation at three big things that you talked about today, which for everybody listening again to remind you in the context of where you start in terms of getting your message out there in a better way. It's, you know, making sure you're incorporating your values into your conversation, sharing stories that connect with the servicing and slash or the products that you're providing. Um, and to be that ideal realist and meeting people where they are and helping them, uh, showing some empathy to guide them through the process. Uh, those are three big, huge, valuable lessons. I know you have so much more to share with you. Go. I'm gonna. Make sure I encourage people to meet you at Joscelyn Duffy Dot com and we'll make all that stuff up. Before we, before we totally wrap this up, I'd love to get your perspective on something.
Aaron: 00:54:35 One of the things I love the most about having this show and having an unbreakable says success is meeting people like you that have so much that's inspiring me. I got to admit for everybody listening, I don't know if you guys know this or not. I'm very selfish about doing this show because all these great people around me, it's not just helping you. I got to admit it. It helps me so much to have these conversations and, and I, I get so much from these in today's certainly at the top of the list of conversations I've had where I'm just, I'm glad and honored and thankful to have this conversation. Certainly grateful to share it with you as you're listening to everyone out there by love to. I'd love to be able to share something that you and your business, your life, something that you've been doing, reading a practice you've been involved with that has helped you. What's something that's going on in your life that is like totally working and you can share with everybody that may help them out. I love being able to share this kind of stuff from the perspective of someone like you who I admire so much.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:55:39 I'll keep it really simple. Walking, walking works for me. Walking work for Einstein, walking work for Steve Jobs. I mean the list is really long. Walking in nature is one of the most powerful things you can do. People ask me like I'm creative. Twenty four slash seven, three 65. I can come up with revolutionary ideas with you. I create models and methodologies for game changers on a global level. Amazing thought leaders. How do I do it? It's that creation of space and you know, we as we mentioned before, like you know, even when we're superheroes, we still have our deeply human human moments where we're dealing with the stresses of life and try to figure out how things are going to fit together, how they're going to work out when you walk in nature and just take the time to create space and breathe things, have a way to clarity.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:56:23 Just comes and things have a way to falling, falling into place. Like I'm trying to figure out like massive models, right word. I mean for me personally, like I put together corporate work, you know, near death experience, resiliency, posttraumatic growth, self expression, all of these things together and I've created the methodology right? And, and it just, it takes creating that space because it's strategic and creative at the same time, but it's not going to happen when we're overthinking it in our mind. So if you're wondering like, you know, what's my message? What do I have to say? Take that time in nature to reset and then use that, extend that presence forth in your conversations, in relations with others. Because if you're not sure what you stand for, what you want to say, start asking others to do podcasts. You talked about how this podcast was beneficial for you.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:57:09 I love doing podcasts because it helps me further clarify my messages. It helps me get really clear on which concepts of the most resonance so that I can create ebooks from them, ninth grade courses from them and deliver them on a bigger scale to serve and the way that I'm intended to serve. Yeah. Right, so carry that presence for it and start to really open up that inquiry for yourself. Opening a nature, open it up in conversation because it will come and it's not going to come with a strain and overthinking. Find a collaborator. That's what I am to people. I'm a collaborator. I help you gain clarity of your message. Guess what? It's already in you and that's the part of of being intuitive as well. It's not just what you're telling me when we're working together is what you not haven't yet expressed to me.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:57:54 Tuning into that. Again, presence, tuning in. Hey Aaron. I think there's something more there. Is there another layer, you know, might it be connected to the story you just told me 10 minutes ago and you go, oh my goodness, I didn't even realize those two aspects of my life were connected. Right? So find someone to collaborate with because it's amazing how much we can accelerate the creative process when we work together. That's, that's the foundation of that. A lot of my programs are built upon and working with people who are on the move, traveling around the world, speaking the other audience is asking for the next edition of their idea, a new idea. It's hard to come up with that immediately with pressure, right? When you have someone else to help develop your concepts with you, it's amazing how much ease can be created and that can just be a friend to. That's where you want to start and you've got a really low budget and you're like, Hey, can I get aboard Jocelyn?
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:58:47 Or anyone like me? I mean, you know, start with the people close to you. It'll start with someone who's not too close to you too, because they will have a certain inquiry into the deeper levels. If you're working with a spouse or a partner, there's a lot that they will already know and they, you know, that might not be brought up. And that's the beautiful thing about me helping others develop their messages or write their books is, is the questioning, right? So use the questioning with yourself, you know, have others question you and, and it really just see what comes up and allow yourself to be placed playful and curious in the process. You know, because we take ourselves too seriously at times, right? This is the July and this is a pleasure, right? Yes. We've got to make money. We've got to meet those human needs.
Joscelyn Duffy: 00:59:33 What we can, you can create that ease in your business. The risk starts to flow because people start to feel that, well, I can see that Erin's alive, he's alive with passion. He's alive, that he's learning new things today. Like that's really cool energy and I want to be a part of that. And all of a sudden your business starts to bloom, right? Because we just will start to feel something around you and you know, it's like you, when you're around kids, do you want to hang out around kids? Usually more. Yeah, you do because they're fun and they're fun, right? If we can exude some of that energy within our business, people go like, this is really bad. I mean, you can be profound to the nth degree, right? But you can also ground it out in that pragmatic Nis and grounded out with some like playful, fun, right?
Joscelyn Duffy: 01:00:14 And when you've got all those elements in there, people are like, oh, this is really neat. Every aspect of who you are as a human being starts to feel fulfilled. Your mind feels fulfilled by those pragmatic, pragmatic, strategic details. Your heart for fields filled by those values that you're speaking to. Your soul feels fulfilled because you're waking up, you're part of something bigger, you're feeling connected, favorite, and you're alive. You're alive on every level. So when you reach that point, you start to like feel this and you'll start to feel like brewing. When you get closer to that ultimate message that you're meant to share and contribute and then build upon that, share that energy, share that feeling, talk about it through your messaging, right? People will want to be a part of that.
Aaron: 01:00:56 Beautiful. I love that anti. That is such a powerful thing. You know, and I don't know if everybody realizes this started as a question about something that was working for Jocelyn and you brought up walking and there's so much. There's a lot of research, uh, for those that don't know, there's a lot of research about walking in nature and connecting in nature and allow your mind to, to delve in and do some introspection and you get a lot of clarity by calming your mind and getting out and sparking those creative juices in. And uh, yeah, you can see where it leads honestly. Really it sparks that passion and the desire and, and those things that you're looking to create. And it starts opening up a new pass and helping you reflect on what it is you want to be doing in your business. And it's certainly, um, certainly speaks to this idea of getting out of yourself because a lot of times, like you mentioned, uh, you mentioned in your explanation that we can't always just sit and ponder way through things.
Aaron: 01:02:03 Sometimes we've got to get up and move. It would really have to get up and move and do something different and that, that certainly something that all of us can probably knew a lot more of because we get into our routines and we were sitting in front of our computer and we're working on the same thing or we're typing out the same blogs and stuff. But to be able to get out, change your perspective, change that view, it can create some, it can help create some real magic. Um, so I definitely appreciate that as a, as a resource and a great tool to use
Joscelyn Duffy: 01:02:33 if you want to tie everything back full circle. You mentioned change. Make change part of your life. The benefit is huge. Like I had moved six times, six different cities by the time I was 12 years old and it was so hard as a child. But change has always been a part of my life, like at four years old, I used to empty out my closet and put everything back in just for fun and I like love to organize now and create the same time and it's creating a business from it. But when you make change part of your life, it builds resiliency, right? Not only does it inspire ideas, but if you want to tie this back to where we started and facing adversities and challenges that we all face when you're used to change and you know we don't wish that great diversity is going to happen, but when it does and you're used to change, you go, okay, I know that I still have myself.
Joscelyn Duffy: 01:03:20 I know that centered in this, right? And I've got some system set up, some mindset set up to deal with change. And that's your foundation. You might not know change as big as great adversity, but you will figure it out. You know, and it's not. When I talked about my story, it's not the revolutionary things, you know, it was getting out and going, walking. It was writing, it was creating, it was just introspection, you know, those aren't things that I was putting thousands of dollars a month though to do. They weren't things that were taking at exponential amount of my energy to do, right? It took a lot of mental strength to move forward and do them. Sure. But these are things that we can all do. So figure out what your things are.
Aaron: 01:04:02 That is a perfect message to everybody knows the name of this show is unbreakable success. And for those that don't know, the big reason I named it, that is because to your point, jostling, all of us, you know, we started out in our businesses and the things we're doing are nonprofits. We started with these best intentions. Um, but what ultimately happens is we get hit with challenges which are changes to the status quo. So you may be moving along in business, maybe progressing, and you hit that mountain like we talked about earlier, you hit him out and then all of a sudden everything's changed in the key to success. And the reason I named the show unbreakable success is exactly what you're talking about, the ability to, to face those changes and have those changes come along and instead of kind of crumbling in the face of them, figuring out how to get around them and preparing yourself ahead of time.
Aaron: 01:04:55 So to your point, being prepared and expecting that change is gonna come and learning the resiliency to deal with them. What they do is, is absolutely at the core of, of what I'm hoping everyone gets from these conversations like this. And, uh, I'm so glad that you brought that up because it's a, it's a, it's a brilliant point. Uh, Jocelyn, and I appreciate you spending so much time with us today and sharing so many valuable messages. Uh, I absolutely have to implore everyone who hasn't been to your website yet. Joscelyn Duffy, Duffy.com. If you're listening to us on itunes, please go to Aaron Keith Hawkins Dot Com. If you type in a search bar on the top right of their screen, um, type Duffy, do you ff why they'll lead you to this episode where you can get all the links to social links to contact, uh, Jocelyn and links to her website. Um, but, uh, Johnson, before we go, I want to make sure we're from your words, from your mouth, what is the best way people can get a can get ahold of you and take advantage of what you do and really continue this conversation of helping everyone who's listening get their message out there more, get their business message out there more than whatever it is that's driving them, that, that passionate a wakes them up in the morning. How can I get some clarity around that so that they can grow what it is they're doing.
Joscelyn Duffy: 01:06:20 I'm well and I'm after years of being the ghostwriter behind many messages. I'm stepping out now really getting my, my, my own messages out, like sharing today on a big social media platform. So I'd love if everyone would love to join in the conversation at Joscelyn Duffy and we'll just mention the different spelling of, my name isj o s c e l y n d u f F y. So please find me on social media. You'll find not only great podcasts like this one, you'll find articles for sites like thrive global. Then I'm writing there, I'm inspiring quotes, resources from other great teachers around the realm of, of communication, operating business from a point standpoint that's deeply human. Um, and as well I have a gift for your audience. So they go to Jocelyn [inaudible] dot com slash gift. There's a nice little ebook they're called communicating value. So it summarizes some of the principles that we talked about today. So if you're trying to figure out like how can I stand out in a way that's really relatable, that diet guide will help you through with some really easy tips that you can apply immediately in your business.
Aaron: 01:07:22 Perfect. Perfect. Thank you so much, Joscelyn and for you listening out there and make sure you take her up on that, offer a for her gift and go click, trust me, go to her website, do some reading about what she's all about and connect with her and take a deeper dive in. It is because I guarantee you, um, being willing to invest in the message that you're putting out there, regardless of what your service or product is, if you get the messaging right and you get you integrated into that message and the core of your story, the core of what you're about, the core of what your values are, it's really gonna make a huge difference for you. So Jocelyn is definitely the person to help you with it. And again, I, I appreciate you so much for sharing with us today. Before we go parting words, your from your perspective, uh, what do you think is, what can you tell the audience from your perspective is the most important thing that they can remember or habit that they can engage in to help them achieve unbreakable success? Uh, which is the purpose of the show. What, what's your, what are your priority parting words of wisdom, if you will?
Joscelyn Duffy: 01:08:25 Yeah, I'm huge on presence. So I think that word encompasses a lot of what we're talking today, presence with yourself to help uncover your message, you know, out in nature with children, wherever you feel most alive, presence with your audience in a way that you're connecting them to them in a deeply human level, on a way that you're hearing where they are and what they're feeling and what they're desiring and needing so that you can help take them to where you know they can be. So whatever realm you're message sits in, right? So that you can take them on this journey with you to have a greater ideal as that ideal realists. So that really is a great formula for unbreakable success.
Aaron: 01:09:03 Excellent. I love it. Thank you so much. Presence people. It can get you through pretty much anything and it's coming from someone who has been through a what seems like all of it and it's done so much and been through so much and thrive through it all. Uh, it's, it is my honor to be able to call your friend and, and to share this conversation with you and share it with everybody listening. Thank you all for listening so much. Jocelyn. Thank you again, and you and I are gonna talk again real soon. I appreciate it.
Joscelyn Duffy: 01:09:29 Sure, sure. Thank you to everyone who's taken time to listen today.
Aaron: 01:09:32 All right, thanks Joscelyn. Take care.