Best Life of Your Life: The BLOYL Podcast, Episode 15
Welcome! Today you're gonna get instant answers to the 5 most common personal development myths that are unnecessarily causing some stress as we attempt to achieve our goals and improve our circumstances.
We all know that sometimes, some really great people wind up thinking they've got limits on their happiness, love, success and control over their own lives. I've been there & done that! Stuck between the belief that life is hard, and the belief that life could be better.
Then — a glimmer of hope! They get exposed to some ‘self-help' or ‘personal development' that COULD actually change things for the better. Oooh, sounds promising right?
Then…ugh…“IT” happens — they remember what “they” said about personal development.
And there ends a potentially amazing journey. They actually shy away from pursuing the answer to a basic, common sense question that we ALL should be asking — “How can I improve my life today?”
Well, the journey doesn't need to end like that.
If this even remotely sounds like something you've experienced, things are going to change, forever, right now. Oh, & if you know someone who's experienced this and is still struggling, please, give 'em some love and share this Best Life of Your Life episode with them. Let's get started…
Self-Help Myth #1: My Friends and Family will think I'm weird.
We all want the important people in our life to be safe and secure. Which means we don’t wanna do something crazy to push our friends & fam' away. Our connections in life are so important. We don’t want to lose them, and we definitely don’t want them to think they’re losing us.
I mean come on – THEY LOVE YOU!
But naturally, if you start doing stuff that people don’t expect (even if it’s good stuff), people are gonna notice. So let’s start by keeping things simple. Improving your habits, relationships, finances, health and anything else in your life is a good thing.
All of us are a work in progress, and to improve ourself is to love ourself. More to the point, to improve yourself is the greatest way to love the people around you.
We affect the people in our life. We’re either helping them improve by our example, or we're encouraging them to settle for less — by our example. If we love ‘em, of course we want to see them life a life that is amazing and fulfilling.
But remember, improving ourself is not about deciding who else does or doesn’t need similar improvement. We need to be a great example by improving our journey, not by judging someone else’s. Pointing fingers or force-feeding unsolicited self-help’ism CAN quickly make things, umm…WEIRD!
In other words — don’t self-help-thump your peeps!
We can and should share the things we learn that are useful, but we need to do so when the time is appropriate — like when our opinion or advice is requested.
Is everyone going to “like” the changes they see when you’re focused on improving things in your life? Of course not. But be respectful of everyone’s perspectives, even if you don’t agree.
Remember, if they don’t “like” the changes they see, it doesn’t mean they don’t legitimately love or care about you. They simply don’t want to feel like they’re losing you, or the change in your life may be highlighting something painful that they’re dealing with. The best thing you can do is to be a consistent, positive and loving example.
It’s not only in your best interest to continue creating an amazing life for yourself, it’s also so valuable for everyone you know and love.
One of the greatest acts of love we can perform, is to take better care of ourselves. #spreadthelove
Self-Help Myth #2: Personal Development is “Unrealistic”
A COMMON, EARLY SELF-HELP EXPERIENCE: “Omg what’s happening? One minute I’m feeling awesome – reading, watching or listening to life-inspiring perspective, then – BAM – the next minute I’m suddenly feeling like I’m kidding myself!”
Breathe — remain calm — I’ve been there. This is just a result of our years of repeated exposure to ‘be average’ thinking.
“Who am I kidding?” – “I need to get back to reality.” – “This personal-growth stuff is unrealistic.” – unfortunately, these are common thoughts resulting from the nonsense we’re taught about ‘reality’.
I’ve literally had people tell me that we’re supposed to experience mediocre success, happiness, fulfillment, etc & expecting anything MORE than half-ass happiness is “unrealistic” — Sad, isn’t it?
Life isn’t perfect, but aiming for average is worse. So, lets get real about what it actually means to be “unrealistic”….
Unrealistic is knowing who we want to be, but pretending we don’t. Unrealistic is knowing what we want to be doing with our life, but instead, wasting it by doing what we think will get approval from others.
Being unrealistic is pretending that we shouldn’t improve ourselves because we’ll seem different. News-flash! – You ARE different. We’re all wonderfully unique and have our own set of gifts, talents and perspectives and we’re supposed to be sharing them, not hiding them.
One of the most unrealistic beliefs is that success is granted by some stroke of luck = or that the most fulfilled, successful and happiest lives are a result of some preordained blessing, financial inheritance or cosmic chance.
What’s unrealistic is a decision to ignore our goals and neuter our potential so we can continue imitating, instead of inspiring each other.
“Limits” are unrealistic.
I know I’m sounding a little tough-love here, but I’m passionate about this because of personal experience – believe me, you don’t want to watching the curtain of your life closing on you and realizing you got really good at fitting-in.
Personal growth is simply about being real – being honest about what you want to experience & having the guts to
make it happen. Personal growth is simply about deciding to be – real.
Self-Help Myth #3: It Doesn't Matter – Nothing Changes Anyway
I’ll admit it. Studying personal development and learning about WHY we do the things we do and how to change things to make life better can be really fun, interesting and even addicting!
So, it’s understandable that if we consume lots of great info, but don’t see immediate results, it can leave us scratching ourheads like, hmm – wussup wit dat?
Three big things —
First: The great news is that many changes can happen instantly.
Things like our perspective, mood & happiness – the things we’re ‘feeling’ can go from bad to great just by embracing some new perspective or implementing a mental strategy.
Other changes, like our relationships, finances, etc. simply require a commitment to a journey of consistent progress.
Second: We've got to remember that the consumption of information IS NOT what creates change — it’s the application of that information that makes all the difference.
Simply put, it’s all about action. As the brilliant Michael Hyatt said “The medicine isn’t doing anyone any good in the bottle.”
It’s important that we prioritize implementation over consumption (though both are important). We’re better off learning just 1 thing a day and applying it than learning 100 things and DOING nothing with any of it.
A great way to implement the things we learn is to identify it as part of YOU by asking, “why is this important to me?”
Your answer might begin something like: “Cause I’m somebody who values _______” OR “I’m somebody who is ______”
Next, imagine a specific situation (expository) where something you learned will be relevant. Visualize, in total detail, what you will do, say and feel when that situation arrives. You’ll be much more likely get absolutely amazing results if you’ve taken the time to do mental trial-runs beforehand.
Make this a habit every time you learn something new!
Third: also need to have the courage to admit that the claim ‘nothing changes' just means “I'm afraid. I'm scared that no matter what I do, nothing is going to change.”
And it's ok to be scared! I have fears too. But we gain so much more power when we change our mental default from worrying about what will happen to making them happen.
Life is the ultimate art – create!
Self-Help Myth #4: Not Everyone ‘Deserves' a Better Life
“Do I deserve better?” – we've all asked some version of this question at some point haven't we?
We ask this question for a variety of reasons. Maybe we did something we regret, or didn't do something we should’ve, or we come from an area, situation or family that we don’t think is “worthy” of greatness.
Well, here’s the thing: “Do I deserve it?” just isn’t a very useful question.
Lets get some help from the philosopher Aristotle when he said, “we do not have knowledge of a thing until we have grasped its why, that is to say, its explanation.” — Dude was deep right?
In other words, the question of ‘worthiness’ is trumped by questions of purpose and capability. As with most things in life, we tend to get a better answer if we ask better questions, like — “Why do we have this capacity for learning, thought, empathy, love and progress?”
Or perhaps more to the point – “What am I capable of achieving?”
What can we do that would take me closer to reaching my true and best capabilities? Regardless of what we’ve done in the past, what can we do next?
Think about this, we don't ask how well a piano deserves to be played, or how bright the sun deserves to shine, or how high a plane deserves to fly.
These things don’t have a soul or a capacity to love (as far as we know), but we commonly expect that they should be used for their greatest purpose – so why heck wouldn’t we expect the same of ourselves?
We’ve been granted the ability to love, learn, inspire, succeed, empathize and be grateful for this wonderfully confusing gift we call life.
Success, growth & the development of ourselves and our experiences? – we don’t just “deserve it”, we are it!
It’s the reason we’re here.
Self-Help Myth #5: I Don't Have a ‘Vision' for My Life Yet, so I Can't Make Anything Better
Chillax my friend. If we don’t have a vision for our life, it’s not time to freak out, it’s time to explore the roses.
I do believe we all should have a goal that we’re working towards for at least this season of our life. But – if we have absolutely no idea what that is, we need to remember that the only way to make a discovery is to start exploring!
What's so much more important than defining your vision is defining who you want to be as a person. Challenge yourself & be honest and LOVING about it. This should have no association with another person or career yet, this is about identifying the qualities you want to exhibit.
Want to add to the clarity? Just define who you don't want to be. Think of some adjectives, then use their opposites.
For example:
I don't want to be mean ->> I want to be kind
I don’t want to feel bored ->> I want to be excited
I don’t want to be greedy ->> I want to be generous
I don’t want to feel depressed ->> I want to be grateful
How do you want to feel, consistently? — Excited, generous, happy, relaxed, autonomous, cooperative, supported,
free, structured, creative?
What or who are you drawn to and why? – what higher qualities do you see in these things or people that inspires you?
In what ways can you exhibit similar qualities in your current daily life? In what way can you do these things in a future hobby or career? (Be CREATIVE)
Begin DOING! Very often, a destination is beyond what you can currently see. Trust that as long as we’re being who we’ve decided to be, we’ll find clarity about what to spend our time doing just over the horizon.
I hope this episode gave you some piece of mind and a few useful solutions. You’ll always have my support!
Please leave me a voicemail to let me know how you’re doing and how our chat today helped.
If there’s a topic you’d like to hear discussed here on the The BLOYL Podcast, please let me know. I’d love to hear what YOU would like to hear. After all, this show is for YOU!
I look forward to talking with you soon!
Download all the Best Life of Your Life episodes free by Subscribing here!
Resources from Episode 15
-
If you've never heard of or met Michael Hyatt, you should. Check him out here at MichaelHyatt.com. He's a stunningly amazing life & business mentor and much more.
-
Did you get the FREE 1-PAGE CHEATSHEET that was mentioned at the end of this episode? If not, click right here >>> 4 Simple Steps to Start Living the Best Life of Your Life
-
Today’s episode was brought to you by the FREE VIDEO SERIES that gives you a big jump-start on living the Best Life of Your Life >>> 7DaySurge.com!
Love you guys – Stay awesome!
Best Life of Your Life: The BLOYL Podcast, Episode 15
Welcome! Today you're gonna get instant answers to the 5 most common personal development myths that are unnecessarily causing some stress as we attempt to achieve our goals and improve our circumstances.
We all know that sometimes, some really great people wind up thinking they've got limits on their happiness, love, success and control over their own lives. I've been there & done that! Stuck between the belief that life is hard, and the belief that life could be better.
Then — a glimmer of hope! They get exposed to some ‘self-help' or ‘personal development' that COULD actually change things for the better. Oooh, sounds promising right?
Then…ugh…“IT” happens — they remember what “they” said about personal development.
And there ends a potentially amazing journey. They actually shy away from pursuing the answer to a basic, common sense question that we ALL should be asking — “How can I improve my life today?”
Well, the journey doesn't need to end like that.
If this even remotely sounds like something you've experienced, things are going to change, forever, right now. Oh, & if you know someone who's experienced this and is still struggling, please, give 'em some love and share this Best Life of Your Life episode with them. Let's get started…
Self-Help Myth #1: My Friends and Family will think I'm weird.
We all want the important people in our life to be safe and secure. Which means we don’t wanna do something crazy to push our friends & fam' away. Our connections in life are so important. We don’t want to lose them, and we definitely don’t want them to think they’re losing us.
I mean come on – THEY LOVE YOU!
But naturally, if you start doing stuff that people don’t expect (even if it’s good stuff), people are gonna notice. So let’s start by keeping things simple. Improving your habits, relationships, finances, health and anything else in your life is a good thing.
All of us are a work in progress, and to improve ourself is to love ourself. More to the point, to improve yourself is the greatest way to love the people around you.
We affect the people in our life. We’re either helping them improve by our example, or we're encouraging them to settle for less — by our example. If we love ‘em, of course we want to see them life a life that is amazing and fulfilling.
But remember, improving ourself is not about deciding who else does or doesn’t need similar improvement. We need to be a great example by improving our journey, not by judging someone else’s. Pointing fingers or force-feeding unsolicited self-help’ism CAN quickly make things, umm…WEIRD!
In other words — don’t self-help-thump your peeps!
We can and should share the things we learn that are useful, but we need to do so when the time is appropriate — like when our opinion or advice is requested.
Is everyone going to “like” the changes they see when you’re focused on improving things in your life? Of course not. But be respectful of everyone’s perspectives, even if you don’t agree.
Remember, if they don’t “like” the changes they see, it doesn’t mean they don’t legitimately love or care about you. They simply don’t want to feel like they’re losing you, or the change in your life may be highlighting something painful that they’re dealing with. The best thing you can do is to be a consistent, positive and loving example.
It’s not only in your best interest to continue creating an amazing life for yourself, it’s also so valuable for everyone you know and love.
One of the greatest acts of love we can perform, is to take better care of ourselves. #spreadthelove
Self-Help Myth #2: Personal Development is “Unrealistic”
A COMMON, EARLY SELF-HELP EXPERIENCE: “Omg what’s happening? One minute I’m feeling awesome – reading, watching or listening to life-inspiring perspective, then – BAM – the next minute I’m suddenly feeling like I’m kidding myself!”
Breathe — remain calm — I’ve been there. This is just a result of our years of repeated exposure to ‘be average’ thinking.
“Who am I kidding?” – “I need to get back to reality.” – “This personal-growth stuff is unrealistic.” – unfortunately, these are common thoughts resulting from the nonsense we’re taught about ‘reality’.
I’ve literally had people tell me that we’re supposed to experience mediocre success, happiness, fulfillment, etc & expecting anything MORE than half-ass happiness is “unrealistic” — Sad, isn’t it?
Life isn’t perfect, but aiming for average is worse. So, lets get real about what it actually means to be “unrealistic”….
Unrealistic is knowing who we want to be, but pretending we don’t. Unrealistic is knowing what we want to be doing with our life, but instead, wasting it by doing what we think will get approval from others.
Being unrealistic is pretending that we shouldn’t improve ourselves because we’ll seem different. News-flash! – You ARE different. We’re all wonderfully unique and have our own set of gifts, talents and perspectives and we’re supposed to be sharing them, not hiding them.
One of the most unrealistic beliefs is that success is granted by some stroke of luck = or that the most fulfilled, successful and happiest lives are a result of some preordained blessing, financial inheritance or cosmic chance.
What’s unrealistic is a decision to ignore our goals and neuter our potential so we can continue imitating, instead of inspiring each other.
“Limits” are unrealistic.
I know I’m sounding a little tough-love here, but I’m passionate about this because of personal experience – believe me, you don’t want to watching the curtain of your life closing on you and realizing you got really good at fitting-in.
Personal growth is simply about being real – being honest about what you want to experience & having the guts to
make it happen. Personal growth is simply about deciding to be – real.
Self-Help Myth #3: It Doesn't Matter – Nothing Changes Anyway
I’ll admit it. Studying personal development and learning about WHY we do the things we do and how to change things to make life better can be really fun, interesting and even addicting!
So, it’s understandable that if we consume lots of great info, but don’t see immediate results, it can leave us scratching ourheads like, hmm – wussup wit dat?
Three big things —
First: The great news is that many changes can happen instantly.
Things like our perspective, mood & happiness – the things we’re ‘feeling’ can go from bad to great just by embracing some new perspective or implementing a mental strategy.
Other changes, like our relationships, finances, etc. simply require a commitment to a journey of consistent progress.
Second: We've got to remember that the consumption of information IS NOT what creates change — it’s the application of that information that makes all the difference.
Simply put, it’s all about action. As the brilliant Michael Hyatt said “The medicine isn’t doing anyone any good in the bottle.”
It’s important that we prioritize implementation over consumption (though both are important). We’re better off learning just 1 thing a day and applying it than learning 100 things and DOING nothing with any of it.
A great way to implement the things we learn is to identify it as part of YOU by asking, “why is this important to me?”
Your answer might begin something like: “Cause I’m somebody who values _______” OR “I’m somebody who is ______”
Next, imagine a specific situation (expository) where something you learned will be relevant. Visualize, in total detail, what you will do, say and feel when that situation arrives. You’ll be much more likely get absolutely amazing results if you’ve taken the time to do mental trial-runs beforehand.
Make this a habit every time you learn something new!
Third: also need to have the courage to admit that the claim ‘nothing changes' just means “I'm afraid. I'm scared that no matter what I do, nothing is going to change.”
And it's ok to be scared! I have fears too. But we gain so much more power when we change our mental default from worrying about what will happen to making them happen.
Life is the ultimate art – create!
Self-Help Myth #4: Not Everyone ‘Deserves' a Better Life
“Do I deserve better?” – we've all asked some version of this question at some point haven't we?
We ask this question for a variety of reasons. Maybe we did something we regret, or didn't do something we should’ve, or we come from an area, situation or family that we don’t think is “worthy” of greatness.
Well, here’s the thing: “Do I deserve it?” just isn’t a very useful question.
Lets get some help from the philosopher Aristotle when he said, “we do not have knowledge of a thing until we have grasped its why, that is to say, its explanation.” — Dude was deep right?
In other words, the question of ‘worthiness’ is trumped by questions of purpose and capability. As with most things in life, we tend to get a better answer if we ask better questions, like — “Why do we have this capacity for learning, thought, empathy, love and progress?”
Or perhaps more to the point – “What am I capable of achieving?”
What can we do that would take me closer to reaching my true and best capabilities? Regardless of what we’ve done in the past, what can we do next?
Think about this, we don't ask how well a piano deserves to be played, or how bright the sun deserves to shine, or how high a plane deserves to fly.
These things don’t have a soul or a capacity to love (as far as we know), but we commonly expect that they should be used for their greatest purpose – so why heck wouldn’t we expect the same of ourselves?
We’ve been granted the ability to love, learn, inspire, succeed, empathize and be grateful for this wonderfully confusing gift we call life.
Success, growth & the development of ourselves and our experiences? – we don’t just “deserve it”, we are it!
It’s the reason we’re here.
Self-Help Myth #5: I Don't Have a ‘Vision' for My Life Yet, so I Can't Make Anything Better
Chillax my friend. If we don’t have a vision for our life, it’s not time to freak out, it’s time to explore the roses.
I do believe we all should have a goal that we’re working towards for at least this season of our life. But – if we have absolutely no idea what that is, we need to remember that the only way to make a discovery is to start exploring!
What's so much more important than defining your vision is defining who you want to be as a person. Challenge yourself & be honest and LOVING about it. This should have no association with another person or career yet, this is about identifying the qualities you want to exhibit.
Want to add to the clarity? Just define who you don't want to be. Think of some adjectives, then use their opposites.
For example:
I don't want to be mean ->> I want to be kind
I don’t want to feel bored ->> I want to be excited
I don’t want to be greedy ->> I want to be generous
I don’t want to feel depressed ->> I want to be grateful
How do you want to feel, consistently? — Excited, generous, happy, relaxed, autonomous, cooperative, supported,
free, structured, creative?
What or who are you drawn to and why? – what higher qualities do you see in these things or people that inspires you?
In what ways can you exhibit similar qualities in your current daily life? In what way can you do these things in a future hobby or career? (Be CREATIVE)
Begin DOING! Very often, a destination is beyond what you can currently see. Trust that as long as we’re being who we’ve decided to be, we’ll find clarity about what to spend our time doing just over the horizon.
I hope this episode gave you some piece of mind and a few useful solutions. You’ll always have my support!
Please leave me a voicemail to let me know how you’re doing and how our chat today helped.
If there’s a topic you’d like to hear discussed here on the The BLOYL Podcast, please let me know. I’d love to hear what YOU would like to hear. After all, this show is for YOU!
I look forward to talking with you soon!
Download all the Best Life of Your Life episodes free by Subscribing here!
Resources from Episode 15
-
If you've never heard of or met Michael Hyatt, you should. Check him out here at MichaelHyatt.com. He's a stunningly amazing life & business mentor and much more.
-
Did you get the FREE 1-PAGE CHEATSHEET that was mentioned at the end of this episode? If not, click right here >>> 4 Simple Steps to Start Living the Best Life of Your Life
-
Today’s episode was brought to you by the FREE VIDEO SERIES that gives you a big jump-start on living the Best Life of Your Life >>> 7DaySurge.com!